He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Randomize