I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
