carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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