The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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