i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize