Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
