I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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