she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
