how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
