The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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