It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
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So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
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I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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