I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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