had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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