I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
