I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
