I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize