you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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