just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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