i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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