he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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