SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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