I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
