break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just pynch a tree in the face
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I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
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My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize