I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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