ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
