when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
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After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
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We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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