I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize