So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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