College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
