He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Randomize
