Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Damn victory sex feels great
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
