the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
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I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I need a burrito and a hug.
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I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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