are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
