so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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