i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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