You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
