Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
