Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
