Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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