Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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