I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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