i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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