Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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