she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
