I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
