its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
