i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
