I am midnight drunk by noon
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
