yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
