They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
