I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
