I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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