i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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