my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
