Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
