Can i not drive my cunt home
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
