GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
