Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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