Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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