its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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